If My Dog Could Talk
  • Dog: WAT DOING
  • Me: Nothing. I just stood up.
  • Dog: WHERE GO
  • Me: I'm literally walking 3 feet away. I'm not even leaving the room.
  • Dog: CAN I COME
  • Me: I mean sure but I'm literally just-
  • Dog: I COME TOO
  • Dog: WAT DOING
  • Me: I need to open this door.
  • Dog: I HALP
  • Me: No but you're in front of the door. Move please.
  • Dog: I HALP
  • Me: Sigh.
  • Dog: WHERE GOING
  • Me: I am going right back to the exact place I was sitting a second ago.
  • Dog: CAN I COME
  • Me: Sure.
  • Dog: I SIT IN LAP
  • Me: No please don't you are-
  • Dog: I SIT IN LAP
  • Me: No there's no room and-
  • Dog: LAP
  • Me: No, sit on the floor and I'll pet you.
  • Dog: RIGHT HERE
  • Me: That's literally on top of my leg.
  • Dog: IT'S PERFECT PET ME
  • Me: I am petting you. One second, let me just grab my glass-
  • Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
  • Me: I literally am petting you, I just needed a drink-
  • Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME PET ME
  • Me: I AM
  • Dog: I SIT IN LAP
  • Dog: PET ME PET ME PET ME
  • Dog: HOLD SLOBBER TOY
  • Dog: SNEEZE IN UR FACE
  • Me: .......

wigwams:

when you’re too full but the food is so good you just keep eating it

image

(Source: wigwams, via covocal)

itsciyousee:

What I’ve realised in the last 48 hours is that it’s stupid to say don’t depend on the other person when you’re in a relationship. You share your life with them, your thoughts, your tears, your laughs, your bed. If you spent that much time with anyone you would become attached. So it’s okay to be dependant on someone, you just have to realise that they are not the whole world and that without them, you can still keep going. As long as you know that, depend away.

There’s no point to a guy yelling, “Hey sexy baby” at me out of the passenger window of a car as it speeds past. Even if I was into creepy misogynists and wanted to give him my number, I couldn’t. The car didn’t even slow down. But that’s okay, because he wasn’t actually hitting on me. The point wasn’t to proposition me or chat me up. The only point was to remind me, and all women, that our bodies are his to stare at, assess, comment on, even touch. “Hey sexy baby” is the first part of a sentence that finishes, “this is your daily message from the patriarchy, reminding you that your body is public property”. My First Name Ain’t Baby: ‘Hey Baby’ and Street Harassment (via official-mens-frights-activist)

Cat calling isn’t flattery

(via hemingwaytoocool)

(via itsciyousee)

it scares me that you never know what someone is thinking or feeling towards you and everything that they say could be one massive lie

(Source: wh1rring, via theonetheygaveupon)

allthingslinguistic:

allthingslinguistic:

Homophonophobia, from Magic Coffee Hair.
Another linguistic faux-phobia, which can be found on a variety of t-shirts, is “Polyamory is wrong! It should be multiamory or polyphilia, but combining Greek and Latin roots is just wrong!” 
For reference, there are actually many well-established macaronic or hybrid words in English, including  monolingual, automobile, neuroscience, and television.

Homophonophobia was funnier when it wasn’t an actual news story.
youlovelucie:

in-exxhale:

icy-brunette:

lailuna:

I HAVE WAITED MY LIFE TO FIND THIS OMG I CAN’T I JUST CAN’T

so much swag in 3 people

your lying if you say you don’t need this on your blog 

I can HEAR the music.

acutelesbian:

A five year old at the gas station said he liked my “bat woman” tattoo excitedly. His father condescendingly asked how many I had. I told him I had 11. He scoffed and asked how waiting tables all my life sounded and I said, “it’s alright on the weekends, but throughout the week I’m your son’s teacher.” He walked out without another word.

(via just-my-little-wonderwall3)

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